On Sunday, 1/15/12, I wore my EX-Bisexual t-shirt to church. I felt as if I needed to wear my shirt to remind myself of what God has done for me. But because it was very cold, I had my jacket on, zipped all the way up, therefore, no one else saw it. #FastForward, after service, one of my sisters in Christ and I went to Walmart Supercenter to grab lunch. She went to McDonalds in the front of the store and I went to the hot meal section. After I got my take-home plate, I stood in the line to pay for it. Then as I swiped my debit card, the cashier passed me a blank receipt, which really threw me off. I looked at it and said, “What is this?” She said, “Open it and see.” When I opened the blank receipt, there were two phone numbers on it from a man named Chris. I asked her, “Who is this?” Then she pointed to a cashier who was standing behind the register in the aisle next to her. I looked over her shoulders to see who he was.
Come to find out, Chris was the quiet, light-skinned, curly-haired masculine employee who I had just seen earlier when I first walked into Walmart. As I came in and walked past him in one of the aisles, our eyes somewhat interlocked with each other, and we gave each other that “curious and silent side-stare” that I know all to well in the down low community, and automatically, by staring him in the eyes, I read his soul, and I knew he was in the lifestyle, although he didn’t look like he was. The homosexual community would call it having a gaydar. But spiritually, it’s called discernment. The Spirit can recognize a spirit (1 Corinthians 12:10). But I didn’t pay much attention to it or him. I was on a mission to get my food. Lol. Now, here he is, a few minutes later, passing me his phone number over the register. #Confirmation. As I was looking at him, he gave me a head nod, as if he was saying, “Yeah, that’s me. Hit me up later. You already know what I’m about.” But obviously, he didn’t know what I was about. (Later, I was thinking whether or not I should’ve zipped my jacket down and flashed him with my EX-Bisexual T-shirt. But I forgot I was even wearing it at this point.) As I took my food and walked out the store with my sister in Christ, the FIRST thing that ran though my mind was “This is an opportunity for evangelism!!!” Then I prayed, “Lord, do you want me to call Chris later and minister to him or share my testimony with him? Or do you want me to just throw the numbers away and only pray for his salvation and deliverance, now that I know him by name?”
I know for a fact that I put his number in my pocket because I really, really, really wanted to call him later and minister to him. But later that evening when I checked my pocket, I couldn’t find it. I checked my wallet too, and it wasn’t in there either. So I took that as God answering my prayer. Maybe God didn’t want me to call him. Maybe God was only TESTING me and my deliverance on that day to see if I was as free as I claimed to be. Maybe God just wanted me to pray for him. Either way, I passed the test! Chris’ heart may have been defiled, but my intentions were pure! There was no fault found in me! Hallelujah!
Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth. Psalm 26:2-3
In the world, I would have felt a reluctant compulsion to call every guy who gave me his number. Then when I did, I would always feel intimidated, fearful and victimized, as the guy would seduce me sexually over the phone. I used to always set myself up. But now that I’m in Christ, I’m not ignorant of the devil’s devices! When guys give me their number, I have a boldness, a burning passion and this willing desire to call them. And not to give them me or my flesh, but to give them life in JESUS! That’s how I KNOW I BEEN CHANGED!!! To God be all the glory!