EX-Bisexual: Why I’m Still Single

Whenever I wear my EX-Bisexual shirt, people walk up to me or inbox me and ask, “What is an EX-Bisexual? Is that even possible? So what now? Are you completely gay or are you straight? If you claim to be straight, do you sometimes still think about boys? Or do you feel more of an intimacy or attraction towards women now? If you are straight, do you have a girlfriend now? Whatchu mean you aren’t dating? Whatchu mean you’re remaining abstinent?” ANSWER: I’m an EX-Bi/homosexual Christian who is still single for the same reason why a heterosexual Christian, male or female, may still be single. Matthew 6:33 says seek ye first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness, then all these things will be added unto you. 

Though I’ve come off the down low and stopped committing sexual activities with men, I do not focus my attention on now only liking and dating women. Let’s set this straight. God did not call us to be “homosexuals.” But neither did he call us to be “heterosexuals.” He called us to be holy (1 Thessalonians 4:7). He called us to be in the image and likeness of Christ (Genesis 1:26). He called us to be his sons and daughters so that he can be our Heavenly Father (Romans 8:14-17). He called us to spread The Great Commission and to make disciples of Jesus Christ (Matthew 28:19-20). Jesus said in Matthew 6:25-34 not to worry about your life. Don’t worry about what to eat, drink, or wear. Yes, if a man finds a wife he finds a good thing. But right not, you should not even be worrying about who your spouse is going to be. The unbelievers run around stressing over these things. But your Heavenly Father knows what you are in need of before you even ask of him. Have faith, and let him bring these things to you.

Though I am still somewhat physically attracted to both sexes, I do not desire to be with either of them. I do not identify as gay, bi, or straight. I am abstinent. I am just Christian. My orientation is Holiness. My desire is to get intimate with Jesus Christ, the one who created me and shed his blood on the cross and died for my sins. God told me that he would not add a woman to me until I become intimate with him first. Why would God give you a husband or wife, when you don’t even have a relationship with him? Do you think he would break his own commandment: “Thou shall have no other gods before me? For the Lord your God is a jealous God.” You need to be delivered from all idols before God adds on to you. I need God to deliver me from some residue that is still in me. 

I need to first learn who God is, who I am in God, and what his purpose and will is for my life. Then once I learn to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, he will remove every unnatural and perverted desire from me, and will restore in me every natural attraction and affection I originally needed for a woman. And once I am completely restored, it won’t be so I can be attracted to many women (because lust is no more of a sin in homosexuality than it is in heterosexuality), but so that I can be mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually mature, fit and prepared for that “one” virtuous woman that God will bless me with, if it’s his will, that is. Do I want to get married? Yes. Will I? Who knows. I may just be called to be that modern day Paul: celibate (1 Corinthians 7). I may die tomorrow (James 4:14). Or Jesus just may come back today (1 Thessalonians 5:2).

Matthew 24:36-44 says, “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. … Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. Be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him to.”

Life’s purpose is not to date and marry. Life’s purpose is to live for God and bring other’s to Jesus so that we can prepare ourselves for HEAVEN. Marriage is a blessing, but it’s just an add on for ministry purposes (Genesis 1:18). Neither will you and your spouse remain married when you get into heaven. Given that either or both of you make it in… For we will be like the angels: single. (Matthew 22:23-33)

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. -Colossians 3:1-3