I was introduced to pornography in middle school, around the 7th grade. You know how it usually starts off–in the home. I was snooping through my parents room while they were out. Being nosey, I ended up finding their secret stash, and took it back to my room to watch it. I didn’t know then, that my curiosity would lead me into a 10 year addiction, leading all the way through college.
Being a porn user has caused me more suffering than pleasure. I developed a distorted view of sex, and started to confused sex for love. I began to have sexual fantasies for anyone who I came into close contact with. Certain key words or phrases I heard during conversations would trigger me to think about sex. I couldn’t even go to certain locations like the gym, the bathroom, the basement or the swimming pool area without imagining myself entering onto a porn set. I couldn’t sit next to anyone on the couch without anticipating for it to turn into a foreplay scene, because that’s how it goes down in the movies. I was in mental torment every where I went. Porn caused me to stay up until 3-4 a.m., losing sleep every night; and it caused me to be distracted in school. It caused me to lose interest in real life relationships. It caused me to have perverted dreams and nocturnal emissions. It opened the door for a lot of demonic play in my life. Seeing naked men in heterosexual porn videos eventually awakened my curiosity for bi/homosexuality.
When I became a born again Christian, these were the many reasons why I asked God to deliver me from porn. I wanted to be renewed in my mind. I didn’t want those unclean spirits to torment me with sexual dreams anymore. I didn’t want to see my pure friendships in a perverted way. I didn’t want porn to continue to fuel bi/homosexual desires in me.
And just recently, I thought about something else… I’m engaged to get married. That means I’ll be having children of my own one day! I definitely don’t want to pass this generational curse on to my kids, as I have picked it up from my parents! I don’t want my kids to say that they found a stash hidden in Daddy’s room, or pornographic bookmarks saved on Daddy’s computer, and that’s how they became porn addicts. No, they will NOT go through what I went through! I rebuke that cycle in Jesus name!! It ends with me. Thank you Jesus for delivering me, and thank you for protecting my future kids from this addiction.
Transparent For Christ Movement 