I had a dream a while ago that I was standing behind the pulpit preaching and testifying about how I overcame certain issues in my life, all before a large crowd of people. And as I was speaking, the multitudes began to bow down and worship me. I grew perplexed, and quickly rushed down from the pulpit to stand the people up to their feet. But as I lifted some people up from the ground, others began to bow down. I became grieved in my spirit because the people were giving me glory and praise instead of God. They were glorifying me because of my ability to preach well and because my testimony of being an overcomer was exciting news to them.
This morning, I thought about that dream and told God that I wish people would stop treating me like I am this perfect man of God with no struggles or shortcomings, because that is not me. And by people putting me on a pedestal, it creates a burden on me as a minister, because now I feel like I have to maintain this perfect image before man and have to walk on eggshells to do so. Then God said if I want people to stop treating me like I have it all together, then I need to stop portraying myself to people as one who does. #Ouch
People only know about you what you reveal to them. If you only tell people about your victories and successes, they will never perceive you to have any failures or shortcomings. But God knows the heart, and he sees our struggles. He sees the hidden iniquity in our hearts. And he desires for us to have truth in our inward parts. To keep it real. To keep it one hunnit. Because he hates a man who covereth himself.
So during church today, my apostle opened the floor to anyone who wanted to give a testimony, and God led me to go up in front of the entire congregation and share one (Boy was that a pride killer). I shared how I have been a Christian for four years now, but it has not been a walk in the park. I shared how I still had a struggle with lying, my attitude, lust, perversion and etc. AFTER salvation. How I kept falling into porn and masturbation and how I had a few sexual encounters with other people AFTER salvation… AFTER I vowed to God I wasn’t going to do it anymore… AFTER I testified to the world that I had been delivered from my past… AFTER I wore the “EX” on my chest…. You see, I was putting confidence in myself and was trying to keep myself instead of putting my faith and trust in the Holy Spirit and in the Word of God to keep me. Pride comes before the fall. And because I struggle with pride and self-righteousness, that’s why I keep falling in certain areas.
Sorry if I burst some of you guys’ bubbles. Sorry if I failed to be the well polished Christian you may have thought I was. Sorry for mainly testifying about how I overcome things, yet fail to share how I still struggle with many other things. Sorry for giving you a false image. Salvation is a process. Your spirit is born again/regenerated the day you accept Christ, but your soul (desires, emotions, intellect etc) still needs to be renewed, daily. Sanctification doesn’t take place over night. With that being said, there is no perfect Christian. And I refuse to beat myself up pretending I am one. I release you from the impression that you need to “get like me.” JESUS CHRIST is the only perfect and sinless person who waked this earth. And it is he who we should desire to imitate. Not me. Not your other brother or sister in Christ. Not your pastor. Not your favorite preacher on TBN. But Jesus Christ is our example. Aim to be holy as he is holy. Perfect as he is perfect. And for any good work that has been done/completed in me, it is To God Be The Glory. I’m just a ratchet, hot mess without Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savoir. But I thank him for his grace and mercy. I thank God for his forgiveness and his longsuffering with me. Most of all, I thank him for his LOVE, because it never fails, never runs out, and never gives up on me. And I know his LOVE is going to bring me through every situation I may face. Nothing can separate me from the love of God. Not even my own shortcomings. This is the gospel.
In summary, worship the Creator. Not the creation. Put your confidence in God. Not in man. God is perfect in all of his ways. We are simply working towards being perfected in Him. #FromGlory2Glory