God created us in his image and after his own likeness. We were created to be LIKE God, not to BE God. But some of us, like Lucifer, have taken our worship off of the Father and have put it on ourselves. Out of pride and self-righteousness, we want popularity, attention, fame and high social status. We strive daily to become man’s #1 idol, but in the end, we will soon come to find out that as servants, we will never be greater than our Master.

Many people, especially in the church, find themselves battling with pride, which is a sin by the way. When one is first called and chosen by God into the Kingdom, they are humble and they hunger and thirst for righteousness and for an intimate relationship with the Father. But once they get a little revelation of the Scriptures, discover their gifts and talents and their specific mantle/assignment in ministry, they develop an ego and the enemy uses that to usher them into a place of self-righteousness. While ministering to the masses, they may have godly intentions at first (the saving of souls), but as they are continuously greeted by the applauds and honor of men for preaching the gospel and for having a great anointing over their life, a weakness begins to develop in them.

Now, instead of directing the worship and praises of the people back to God and giving Him all the credit, they tend to receive some of that glory for themselves (trying to fulfill a void in their hearts by winning the approval and validation of men, instead of being validated by God alone). Instead of being a God-pleaser, they become pleasers of men, and begin to water down the message of the gospel so that they can keep their followers. With a deep fear of being rejected, they start to preach what the people want to hear, thus losing their effectiveness in destroying yokes, because they are not preaching the whole truth anymore, (which has the power to set one free), but rather a watered down version of it. Then, being deceived by Satan into thinking that they don’t need God anymore, because they believe the power to preach, teach, evangelize, minister and effect lives come from within their own strength, they begin to try to do the works of God, without God. But at the end of their life, after all the works they have done for God, he will simply say to them, “Away from me, you worker of iniquity. I never knew you.” They did works for God, but not the will of God. They sold their soul to their church title and position in ministry and lost their humility and love relationship with God in the process.

I know there are many in the church who have fallen for Satan’s trap, but I will make myself first partaker of this status. I was trying to be in God’s shoes and do his job. God showed me that ministry had become my god, my idol, because I was putting it before him. I never got the attention I wanted when in the world, but when I was called into ministry, I noticed that I started to get the attention I always wanted. However, the attention wasn’t really directed to me, but to the anointing of God on my life. People were drawn to the God in me, not me. I was quickly humbled, though, as the Spirit of God had to teach me that I am just a man and I am nothing apart from him, and can do nothing without him. I am just a branch, but Jesus is the true vine. I can’t save anyone, only Jesus can. I am just a vessel that he uses to do his work. I have to die daily to my narcissism, pride, and my desire to please men and win their approval. I am here for one purpose and one purpose only — not to do my own will, but to do the will of the Father. I now know that it was never about me, and never will be. It is all about Jesus Christ, to the glory of God the Father. I have previously repented for my pride-infected ways and God has forgiven me. Amen. This is my first time exposing this about myself publicly. Pray for me. I am just being Transparent.

Confession+Repentance=Deliverance. (Proverbs 28:13)

-a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
-deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes.
-inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must DENY HIMSELF and take up his cross and follow me. (Matthew 16:24)

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

5 thoughts on “EX-Narcissist

  1. Hi there !

    My ex.. And father of my two Children is a narcissist. He did gave his life to the Lord some years ago and Jesus made a faithfull loving man of him. But, he did fall back in his old behaviour. He turned into a narcissist again. And even lefted us. He is now chasing women again. Doing everything for attention. Sports like a maniac to get a body like the Hulk.. The narcissist i see now i dont want to deal with him. So id break allmost every contact off ( except about the Children)

    I pray for him every single day..
    My faith is strong! He once was a loving Christian man and father. Because he did choose Jesus. The narcissist in him was gone.. But now he is back even stronger :(((. I know i can not change him. Only God can draw him back to Himself. And i hope it will be soon.. We Miss him 😦 any advice for me?


  2. I very much identify with this! Pride is something I struggle with and pray against and try to fight. I’ve learned that trying to fight it in my own strength is useless even if it’s for a good reason. I ask God constantly to humble me and sometimes, because of my overwhelming pride, He has to get my attention in uncomfortable ways but it’s all done out of His relentless love for me so I praise Him. Thanks for being so transparent! I will definitely keep you in prayer and please keep me in yours! Less of us, more of Him 🙂


    1. You said something powerful:

      “I’ve learned that trying to fight [pride] in my own strength is useless even if it’s for a good reason.”

      When we try to do anything in our own strength, we automatically fall into the category of self-righteousness. There is no good in us at all, because of sin. Isaiah 64:6, NLT says, “We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.”

      We must make sure that we do everything in the power of Christ. For with man, it’s impossible but with God all things are possible.

      “Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts.” (Zechariah 4:6)

      God bless you!


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